


Hang Free Will Around My Neck Like A Noose

by Sharkseye



Series: Lets Try This Again... [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Garrisons, Angels, Angst, Dean is Lucifer, Discussions on Free Will, Free Will, M/M, kinda a vessel!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 22:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharkseye/pseuds/Sharkseye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel flies through the place between before going back to earth.  Once there he starts summoning angels and sees a lot of familiar faces. Lucifer will just have to deal with his new garrison</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hang Free Will Around My Neck Like A Noose

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that there may or may not be some discrepancies with previous chapters and the chronological events of the canon story, so sooner or later I’m going to go and fix that.
> 
> Torture is happening in the next chapter, for all who were warned of it and all those who weren’t. I'm not sure how long that one's going to take.
> 
> *IMPORTANT*. This takes place before the events of the last chapter, right after Castiel left hell. I may eventually go back and reorder the series, but for now I'm not.

Castiel flitted away from hell, sweeping across the place between.  He had only flown through it once before as a seraph, and then he hadn’t had time to linger.  Even now it wasn’t safe for him to be spending so much time there, but it felt wonderful.  Only the extremely powerful could enter the place between on their own, and now Castiel fit that class.  Before now he had only ever been quickly flown through by Paimon, Lucifer or his garrison leader back when Castiel pulled Dean from hell.  Being able to actually stall and stay in the place between for a while meant he was also able to look around. 

What should’ve been air was liquid, somehow managing to both be thick and syrupy and thin and airy, merely sliding over his wings though it seemed like it should stick.  And the colors were dazzling, bursts of color shining like galaxies against a backdrop of grey-scale.  There wasn’t so much a floor as a condensing of the liquid air, different places and levels that made no sense, sometimes jutting out like spires and sometimes bumpy and smooth.  Everything was colored in the same changing color scheme, but it was a beautiful and a fun challenging to fly through without hitting anything.

A burst of annoyance from Lucifer brought Castiel back to the present, and he quickly left the place between, landing on earth and flying around, gathering up ingredients and a container for a summoning spell.  This one wouldn’t force angels to appear, just nudge them repeatedly with the request until they had no choice in the matter.  Finishing by pouring a small amount of holy oil in the bowl and rattling off a quick incantation, Castiel completed the spell and stepped back to wait.   It didn’t take long before there was the sound of wings and an angel appeared in front of Castiel, holding only a glass of alcohol, but Castiel knew he was by no means unarmed.

“Well this is different Cassie” the angel drawled, his voice wary “Nice wings”

“Thank you Balthazar” Castiel replied.  Balthazar had fought with Castiel and Uriel before Uriel tried to kill Castiel and Castiel rebelled, he could probably be trusted to help now as he was one of the most likely angels to follow in Castiel’s footsteps.

“Well I knew you’d rebelled, but I would’ve never thought you’d join up with Lucifer” Balthazar glared, unable to hide the wounded betrayal in his eyes.  Castiel knew that Balthazar didn’t want the world to end, he was one of the angels who fell into human vices, though not as deeply as Gabriel.  As far as Castiel knew now though, the other angel was still part of the Host

“Lucifer isn’t continuing the apocalypse, he became Dean and changed his mind.  We want your help” Castiel stepped forwards, “Look at my grace, I’ll show you”

Sorting through his mind, Castiel offered up parts of memories of Lucifer when Paimon had saved Castiel and his explanations then, certain parts of the talk with Gabriel and then the conversation in which Castiel had offered to talk to some other angels about helping them.  Balthazar slowly reached out with his own grace, and Castiel made sure to be as unthreatening as possible.  He wasn’t foolish enough to think the other angel hadn’t brought a stolen Weapon of God to this meeting, especially since Castiel was now a seraph.  Balthazar finished with the memories quickly, stepping back and contemplating Castiel as he took a sip of his drink. 

“Lucifer turned you into a seraph and now you’re in his garrison” Balthazar mused, then smirked “You’re scent marked enough that I can’t tell if you’ve finally decided to experience the lovely human pass time of shagging or if it’s just his grace”

Castiel’s eyes widened at the attempted diversion and he flicked his eyes away, silently lamenting the fact that he hadn’t prepared enough for this meeting with Balthazar beforehand.  “What is your point?”

Balthazar laughed in response, changing the topic back and ignoring Castiel’s question.  “I won’t help Lucifer.  I’ll help you if you really need it, but other than that I don’t want to be involved.  Since you asked me I’m sure you’ve figured out I plan to leave heaven and  would prefer earth to still be here when I do.  Just for kicks.”

Castiel smiled, relaxing slightly.  He knew better than to think Balthazar would do much without persuasion, but he was glad to have the other angel on his side.  Balthazar was far too involved with humanity to want to stay in heaven for long. “Thank you Balthazar.  I won’t ask you do anything until we really need it, I’m just getting help now for the inevitable time when heaven tries to force their apocalypse.  You’ve always been good at stealing from their weapons room.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment coming from you.  If the Host finds out I’m helping you, I’ll be put right in their crosshairs, so can you assure me I won’t have any of hells denizens to worry about either?” Balthazar requested, once again proving his tendency to think of self-survival above all else.  It did make sense to get confirmed though.

“No one from hell will be after you” Castiel promised, hesitating before phrasing his next question as a statement.  Dean had made requests into passing comments sometimes, so Castiel decided to do so too “If you happened to obtain a few Weapons of God before leaving heaven, I believe they would be quite useful.  I’m sure you and Lucifer could come to an agreement that benefits you both.  And if you want more protection, you can join my garrison”

Balthazar looked slightly surprised at this, and Castiel allowed himself a small burst of pride.  He had been getting better at understanding and conducting business since having to deal with demons in hell.  They were always looking for a way to manipulate things to profit them, though not all could actually do so and have it work.  Balthazar promised to think about it and left without any further words, and Castiel tried to understand Dean and Sam’s old annoyance over his own lack of pleasantries, but could find nothing irritating about the lack of greetings and goodbyes.  Then again, Castiel thought, reminiscing back on conversations with Lucifer recently, it was probably just a human thing. 

Running again through the list in his mind, Castiel decided to speak with Rachel next.  He had been her superior up until his rebellion, and would consider her one of his friends, though not under human standards.  Her death would be distressing, and her life was both pleasant and useful.  She could probably be gotten to see the error of heavens judgment, and with the knowledge that God was no longer ‘running the show’, he should be able to convince her to help him with getting angels of humanities side.  As Lucifer had once put it, joining Team Free Will and while Lucifer had shown no signs of particularly caring for his heavenly brothers, Castiel wanted to protect as many as he could.  Getting them away from Michael and Raphael’s plans would be an intelligent first step.  As he had offered to Balthazar, Castiel might even ask Lucifer about creating his own garrison.  Paimon had many demon garrisons under his control  yet was still in Lucifer’s, and Castiel already knew how to build his own garrison from the time after Anneal fell.  He had had to do it then while remaining in the higher garrison of other angels sharing his position, he could do it now while staying in Lucifer’s garrison.  As a seraph he wouldn’t even need assistance to create one.

Using his grace to clean out the bowl from the previous summoning, Castiel redid the entire process, this time using Rachel’s name in place of Balthazar’s for the audible part of the spell.  Rachel was even quicker to arrive than Balthazar, her arrival was heralded by the ring of a drawn sword.  Unsurprised by this violent greeting, Castiel slid his own sword out and caught her strike on the blade, pushing back and throwing her off as she faltered in surprise at the change in his grace.  Wanting to finish this as quickly as possible so he didn’t have to harm her, Castiel’s next blow was struck with the intention of disarming her.  Rachel deflected it, but under a minute later and her sword was clattering to the ground

“Wait Rachel, just listen” Castiel requested, using his grace to keep her in place as she spread her wings to flee. 

Resignation crossed her face but she still stood defiantly, narrowing her eyes as she answered.  “They say a demon saved you after you rebelled for the humans, and now you feel like Lucifer.  Have you actually rebelled against our Father and joined with him?”

“I haven’t gone against Father.  Heavens orders no longer come from Him, He left.  I’m trying to stop the apocalypse, Lucifer’s working on that too, so that’s the only reason I’m working with him.” Castiel explained, ignoring the knowledge that that wasn’t the only reason he was working with Lucifer.  Castiel could deny it all he wanted, but even if Dean had been Lucifer and had decided to continue the apocalypse, Castiel would’ve followed him down to hell.  He’d already fallen to earth for the hunter, falling to hell wouldn’t have been such an improbable next step

“Where is Father?” Rachel asked, her vessel steady, but her unease betrayed but a slight fluttering in her bound wings. 

“I don’t know where He’s gone.  Zachariah said that He ‘left the building’.” Only after Rachel made a confused face did Castiel notice he had used air quotes, and he immediately dropped his hands.  “Michael and Raphael have been orchestrating the apocalypse; our Father wouldn’t want His creations destroyed.”

Rachel didn’t reply, looking lost and uncertain.  Castiel could sympathize, when he has figured out Father was gone, he was devastated.  “Lucifer’s trying to help save the earth and all of Father’s creations.  Will you help us? I’ll show you some of our discussions about it.”

Castiel held back from showing her his memories though, waiting for her acceptance.  Rachel tilted her head, looking confused. “Are you suggesting free will or is this an order?”

He paused at that, uncertain of how to answer. “I’m asking you.  We should all have free will, angels and you included.”

“But what should I do with my free will?” Rachel asked, seeming to draw in slightly. “If Father is no longer giving commands shouldn’t we look to Michael?”

“No.  Michael is planning on killing Father’s creations.  He wouldn’t want them all to be destroyed.”  Castiel pressed, “Help us keep them alive”

Rachel wavered, “Can you show me then?”

Castiel nodded, smiling softly.  He moved forwards and pressed his fingers to her temple, letting the memories flow into her grace.  He stepped back as soon as they were finished replaying and watched Rachel’s wings, cataloging the different emotions warring through them.

“If I release you, will you stay here?”  Castiel ventured, wanting to give her a moment to think.

Rachel nodded and Castiel let his grace unwind from around her wings, letting her stretch them then fold them tightly against her back.   Slowly she asked, “Are you in Lucifer’s garrison?”

“Yes” Castiel answered, making up his mind and deciding that Lucifer could just deal with it. “I will make my own garrison again though; I was hoping you would take the same position you held in it before I left heaven.”

Once again she seemed to steel herself, but then gave one firm nod, her wings puffing in both delight and anxiety at this use of free will. “I would be honored to rejoin your garrison.  Do you want me to go around and speak with other angels who were under your command?  I doubt you have time for everyone”

Castiel smiled, nodding. Rachel was an extremely valuable asset to have.  “Thank you, though don’t speak to anyone who showed extreme loyalty to Michael, Zachariah or Raphael.  Would you like me to add you to my garrison now?”

“That would be best.” Rachel agreed, morphing back into the rigid angelic self Castiel had always known her as. 

Reaching out with his grace, Castiel wove it into her wings, marking her with the symbol of his garrison and then drawing her grace with his as he pulled back.  A quick burst of power and weaves and it melded, another garrison radio opening up in the back of his mind, filled with the steady and loyal thrum of kettle drums that was Rachel’s song. 

“You can use the memories I’ve given you, and send any angels who would also rejoin my garrison to me.  I’ll find someone where we can base out of, for now it’ll be on earth.” Castiel decided, thinking about different places he could make it.  Preferably near Bobby Singer’s house, the closeness between hunters and angels would be safer.  “Be careful with who you speak to, we’ll have to keep in close communication about that, I don’t want you getting yourself killed for this.”

Rachel nodded again then in a blink was gone, already sending names over garrison radio, which Castiel listened and responded to, easily falling back into his role of garrison leader, though the garrison was still small.  The two ‘radios’ would get confusing though, so Castiel decided to call one hell’s radio and the other garrison radio.  Hell’s radio would stay too small to be considered a garrison, but even with only Castiel, Lucifer and Paimon having access to it, it was comfortable.  Far better than if it had been bigger. 

Grabbing the ingredients to the summoning spell, Castiel flew towards Bobby’s house, making larger circles around it until he found an abandoned estate a couple kilometers from the house in the opposite direction of the town.  It was surrounded in trees and a thorough grace examination showed that it was stuck in a financial transaction gone wrong, owned by no one and unvisited for years.  Landing in it showed a large castle like house, reminding Castiel of a place he had glimpsed on the TV once while Sam was watching a documentary.  He flew around the edges of both the property and the buildings it contained, setting up wards and sigils he had learned from both heaven and hell. 

During the process a couple angels showed up and Castiel added them to his garrison, recognizing them and doing a check of their graces to make sure they were safe.  They were all angels from the beginning of his list, Rachel had taken his warning to heart.  They were concerned about Father not being there and upset over knowing that the apocalypse hadn’t been His plan, or at least not in the current time.  Setting up a few rules and orders, Castiel left them to set up wards and clean up the place, slightly annoyed at their requirements for orders on how to use their free will and only further exasperated by the annoyance pouring off Lucifer.

Castiel flitted off to a clear sandy beach in Brazil, re-setting up the ingredients for the summoning spell and communicating with Rachel as to who they each talked to next.  The following twelve angels he spoke to and eleven Rachel talked with went well.  It was on the thirteenth angel that his warnings on safety needed to play out, and Castiel had to gently slide the vessel of one of his brothers off of his blade, breathing deeply as he healed the long gash in his arm.  Sadness came from Rachel, but no condemnation.  Things had been serious from the moment Castiel pulled Dean from hell, they couldn’t afford to make mistakes with angels who would only be too happy to sell them out. 

By the time rage and the icy feeling of death poured off of Lucifer, Castiel had had enough.  He had been forced to kill brothers and sisters that he had miscalculated on and both summoned to himself and allowed Rachel to summon.  Disgust at his actions churned through his grace, and Castiel asked Rachel for a short absence in which she would lead the angels, giving her a list of things that needed to be done to improve their makeshift garrison on earth.  She was to stop summoning angels, they would continue when Castiel was back, but something was happening in hell that required his immediate attention and he didn’t want to bring the angels into it, although he really wasn’t sure it had anything to do with hell, he didn’t tell her that.  He then instructed her to send a quick embassy to Bobby’s house, just to update the old hunter on what was happening and give greetings from Castiel.  Everyone had to have a second inspection with garrison radio to further confirm their loyalties first though.  The wrath in Lucifer built with the anxiety and negative feelings roiling through Castiel, and he finished his orders before masking himself partly from garrison radio, leaving only a line open so that he could be spoken to, but no one would be able to feel what he was feeling or see what he was doing.  He made sure they knew if anything bad happened he would still be available.

Trying to stem the fear of something gone horribly wrong, Castiel felt part of Lucifer’s song turn to one of self loathing, clashing against itself and overpowering both Castiel and Paimon’s concern.  Full of worry and still agitated over his siblings deaths at Castiel’s own hands, he threw himself down to hell, aligning his flight path to Lucifer’s room when the archangel entered next to him.  The subsequent conversation did nothing to calm his nerves, with the added clash of Lucifer’s actions and War’s arrival, all Castiel could think was that maybe they both needed a break.  Acting on what Paimon had told him before and banishing thoughts of all else from his mind, Castiel tried to imitate some of the actions he had previously seen women do when approaching Dean.  Torture would compose Lucifer and since Castiel was already captivated by it, maybe it could calm him too.  He had wanted to watch Lucifer torture for some time now.  At the very least it would draw his thoughts away from angels and their free will. 

Free will may be a lifeline to someone drowning, but it was also a noose to hang yourself with. 


End file.
